I'll never forget that day. I was in the shower, getting ready for the day and trying not to throw up. I wasn't sick. I was stressed beyond imagination. See, we just found out that our car, our only car, would need massive repairs -- over $3000 worth. And I had no idea where the money would come from. Oh, but I knew exactly where it wouldn't come from: our current savings or available credit on our credit card.
As I stood there fighting off stomach cramps, I thought about all the times I had learned to trust God with finances in the past. But instead of taking comfort from these memories, I got angry. I finally shouted out loud, "God, why are You testing me like this?! I've already learned how to trust You in this area!" As soon as I finished shouting, I started to feel very silly. If I had really learned to trust God, then why was I on the verge of throwing up right now?
The Bible speaks a great deal about contentment, and I'll be honest that I have a difficult time still with contentment in many of those areas. But there's one area in which I have absolutely no problem with contentment: my spiritual growth. And that's a problem.
In truth, before that incident with the huge car bill, I was more than content with how strong my faith was. But God wasn't. We often forget that at the heart of God's great love is not tolerance or mere acceptance, but rather restoration and perfection. God's love is transforming us into all that He wants us to be -- into the very likeness of His Son -- and He won't stop until He's through. I may be more than content for me to stay this way at times, but He never is.
Now of course that doesn't mean that God's love for us grows as we grow spiritually, or that He won't truly love us until we are perfect like He is. His full, unconditional love for us does mean, however, that He won't rest until we have become all He desires for us. He loves us too much to stop short. So let us learn to be content in the grace and provision of our loving Father, but not content to remain imperfect or stalled in our growth.