IT'S GETTING HARDER TO FOLLOW

Can I be honest with you for a second? In some ways it's not getting easier to follow Christ as I get older.  It's actually getting harder.  As I am about to finish up graduate school, I look back at the young college freshman who began this journey so many years ago, and I notice a lot of differences.  Quite frankly, I'm not the fiery, passionate, no-compromise, sold-out, no-holds-barred follower of Christ that I was back then.

Now I think a very, very, very small part of the difference between now and then is that I've gotten a little wiser and more mature as I've grown older.  I've learned what is worth fighting for and how to fight for those things in an appropriate manner.

But I think the majority of it is that I have a lot more at stake in following Christ than I used to.  Called to be completely sold out to a kingdom that has yet to fully appear, I've managed to make myself very comfortable during the waiting. So now when I think about following God, a lot more thoughts flood my mind.  How can we move to this or that place? What would we do with all our stuff? How can I pursue this or that action for the Lord? What about my reputation and appearances I've worked so hard to cultivate? How can I take this or that risk for the Lord? Who will take care of my family if I lose my job because of it? Who will take care of them if I end up dying for my faith?

I don't necessarily think that any of the things I've accumulated up to this point in my life are bad.  Some (like my family) are very clearly blessings from the Lord.  Yet, God expects me to seek Him and His kingdom above all else.

And sometimes it's very hard to choose His kingdom over the little territory I've carved out for myself in the world.